Holy shit, we got pwned!
The US Navy just totally pwned Ricky and his crew holding that ship captain!


Damn it.

You know, look. We know what we signed up for, but WTF?

They totally shot Ricky, Jim and Harvey. And captured Paulie. I mean, really? Why leave Paulie alive? This was his first mission and he wasn't even good at it. At least he doesn't know a lot of secrets. Frankly, I hope the US tortures him. Maybe he'll tell them about his thing for the Jonas Brothers.

Jim was a class act man. Well, for a ruthless pirate. Last week he let me skip pirate practice so I could catch up with "For The Love of Ray J" on VH1. Damn, that one girl with the tattoos on her face is hot stuff. Maybe if she gets kicked off the show we can fly her out here and she can be, like, a girl pirate. Anyway, back to Jim.

I think my favorite memory of Jim was from our first pirate mission. We were lying in wait, out on the sea, in a shitty little boat that didn't even have any porn in it. So we're sitting there, cleaning the machine gun and checking the GPS, and we get to talking about the movie Mulholland Drive. You know that part about 2/3 of the way through with the cube, after which the whole movie changes? What was up with that? Jim explained that the whole first part of the movie, starting with the limo and including all the memory loss stuff was a dream! Bummed me out because I was hoping the lesbian scene was real.

Anyway he explained that being a Somali pirate was alot like living a new David Lynch movie every day. Each day brings new weird experiences that are difficult to explain. The other pirate in the boat with us agreed, and so did the schizophrenic Peruvian midget with a lisp.

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Jonas Bros


2009-04-16 07:22 pm (UTC)

Thing for the Jonas Brothers! Classic!

For the love of Ray J, eh?

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