Meet our new captain
I bet you think we've had a bad day. I bet you think you've got us on the run.

What you fail to realize, stupid Americans, is that our recruitment has only increased. Capture eleven, and twenty-two will rise to take their place! Mariners from around the world have rallied to our cause, joining forces with us in the name of fortune and adventure. In fact, we have recruited some of your own countrymen to our cause.

Our newest recruit, we call him "G". he was a First Mate in your country, but he's been promoted to Captain in ours. He knows your secrets and will undermine your defenses. Last night he made a radio out of a coconut. Look below into the face of your worst nightmare.

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Just don't let him take you on tours.

Also, if he has a problem that is caused by getting hit on the head with a coconut, the antidote to this problem is to hit him again in the head with a coconut.

well done


2009-04-16 03:03 am (UTC)

This is absolutely brilliant.

So that's who it was! I heard it ringing, but by the time I got half way up the tree, wouldn't you know it, it stopped ringing! I knew it was ripe for the picking last week, but so was Ginger! (So which would you pick)? I would have called back, but you know how SaskTel is, their call display sucks- you might as well be on a deserted island....Oh, wait...

do I get a free T-shirt?


2009-04-16 09:45 am (UTC)

I got in a taxi last week and the driver was a Somali, usually they are Pakistanies or Indians, or worse Egyptions!

I asked him why he wasn't out hi-jacking oil tankers, but he said he was just a taxi driver. I think he was secretly funding the Pirates

I gave him a massive tip so he could send the money back to his pirate peeps in Mogadishu, to buy weapons and spare jolly rodgers.

Do I like get a Free T-shirt or something?

Re: do I get a free T-shirt?


2009-04-16 04:02 pm (UTC)

Not every somali is a pirate or funds them, you'd think a grown adult like you would relise that but maybe not.

and btw pirates make money not t-shirts, but maybe you don't know that either

Now that "G"'s been promoted, does he have his own "G" unit?

He did, but he took them on a 3 hour mission and they didn't come back.

Eager Beaver


2009-04-16 01:01 pm (UTC)

any idea how i can sign up to join you guys? i live in the far east...

for the guy after the t-shirt


2009-04-16 04:01 pm (UTC)

Not every somali is a pirate or funds them, you'd think a grown adult like you would relise that but maybe not.

Re: for the guy after the t-shirt


2009-04-16 05:11 pm (UTC)

Apparently not every internet user isn't an idiot.



2009-04-16 05:25 pm (UTC)

He also made a movie camera out of some bamboo. Get him to show you his vids of Mary Ann and Ginger putting on a show in the Howle's hut.

Good times.

It will be the doom of us. Whatever you do, do not give him rubber cement...

Meet our new captain.


2009-04-18 11:35 am (UTC)

The new captain is Bob Denver, Gilligan, of Gilligan's Island. Is this your new captain, Bonzo? I can see it all now. These pirates get paid $300 each for a ship, a VCR and tapes of Gilligans Island, while the true brains, war lords, politicians, etc. get the rest, 1.99 million.

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