No one Twitters about this blog anymore and it's giving me low self-esteem
There once was a time when people twittered about this blog. I used to come back from a successful pirate mission, gold in my hands and blood dripping from my teeth, and see all the buzz I'd created with my musings about such things as Eraserhead and pudding.

Now folks don't twitter about me anymore and it hurts my feelings. I was so excited when Twitter came out because it gave me the opportunity to measure and quantify how interesting I am. As if being a ruthless pirate wasn't enough, I became addicted to the rush of being mildly notable.

Now that Twitter success and the BoingBoing mention are far back in my rear-view mirror, all I can do is sit here in our secret underground pirate lair, listening to Hootie and the Blowfish and trying not to cry.

(Leave a comment)
Hootie's making country music now. What do you think of that?

Also let's face it, unless you have anything to do with the swine flu or the economy, I think your 15 minutes might be up.

How do you got you an underground lair in a boat?


2009-05-15 11:04 pm (UTC)

Dear Somali Pi-rates,

Now you know just how Sarah Palin feels. At least she can put on her old pageant crowns and boss around the help. Maybe you need an intern.

Dude, double the size of that wad of Qat in her maw and you really won't much care anymore. Tolerance is a bitch.

Hei, are you really a pirate?


2009-05-17 11:12 pm (UTC)

Do you really live in Harardhere? I am a journalist, and I think most of all that have been written about you is crap. I want to go to your town and tell the world the real story about piracy. Can we talk? I live in South America, and broadcast all over the world.

Re: Hei, are you really a pirate?


2009-05-18 02:38 pm (UTC)


Yes I am a real pirate. Arrrrrr! I would love to give you an exclusive opportunity to tell our story. The world needs to know what's really going on here. Below are directions to my underground lair:

1) Fly to Mogadishu, Somalia
2) take the RED LINE monorail (not the orange line) north to the Winsdor Manor stop.
3) Walk 5 blocks WEST towards the Dunkin Donuts
4) You'll see a large Costco on your right. Behind the Costco there's an odd looking shed. Knock three times and give the password "twinpeaks"

I am eager for your arrival.

Re: Hei, are you really a pirate?


2009-05-19 01:33 pm (UTC)

Hei, good to know you are interested in talking to me! I guarantee you and your friends I can give the world the best point of view of what is really going on there.
Is there an e mail or phone # where we can talk about the details and how safe it is to get to you...

Re: Hei, are you really a pirate?


2009-05-19 10:25 pm (UTC)

Yes, my phone number is +1-800-SHAM-WOW

Re: Hei, are you really a pirate?


2009-05-21 02:27 pm (UTC)

ok, I give you my e mail:

Shhh . . ...
All Somali pirates are moving to the Netherlands!
I have a house at 147 Theo Van Gogh Blvd.
Bang three times on the back door with the butt of your RPG.
"It's better than sitting on a wharf in Somalia."

Low Self Esteem


2009-06-01 08:53 pm (UTC)

Come back, come back. All is forgiven.



2009-06-05 05:08 am (UTC)

Clearly YOU have brain damage!

Have you gone missing friend??? Do we need to stage a rescue??

are you a real somalian pirate?

Sure am. Turn around, i'm right behind you

(Leave a comment)