Borat, on the recent publicity campaign by the Kazakh government to improve the image of Kazakhistan:

“If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year, then we will be left with no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults.”

And so it came to pass. Spaceballs: The Animated Series
I’m still waiting on History Of The World Part II: Jews IN SPACE!

Last night I went to the Mets game with my dad. I knew, going in, that since the Marlins had Dontrelle Willis pitching and the Mets had Oliver Perez, the Mets would probably lose. I did not, however, anticipate Willis throwing 124 pitches, hitting an RBI single, and two long home runs to center field. Read that last sentence again. This kid is only 24 years old. Next time he is a free agent, the Yankees will offer him $32 million per year. You heard it here first.

With tonight’s win over Houston, the Mets’ magic number is down to 14. The Phillies were rained out tonight, so I can only assume they’ll have a doubleheader tomorrow. Looking ahead at the schedule, there is pretty much no way they are going to clinch during the Dodgers series.

So, it looks like they’ll clinch on the road, probably in Pittsburgh. They ought to sweep the Pirates, which will be three points off the Magic Number right there. If there is anything left by that part of September, the Pirates seires will probably clear it out. That said, immediately after the Pirates, they come home to play Florida. If they have a chance of clinching at home, and I have a chance of being there, that would be rad.

Something I am really looking forward to is the day the Braves are eliminated. That is going to be awesome.